forbearance

I am learning a lot about patience, and grace, and bearing up under something, or rather I need to be learning these things. I got to work today and I wanted to cry again, on top of the impossibile and growing workload expected of us, I have a cold, I am tired, and patience is the last thing I want to practice.

It would be easy for me to shut down, tune out and just bide my time until I can get out of here. But i don't want to do that. I want to be able to treat those around me with respect and kindness, to remember the hope to which I am called and the One I am to be working for.

But I am human, and fallible, and rather selfish. If only I truly realized how great a loving Father I have, how much power is at His children's disposal.

Forbearance is not what we percieve to be "just." It is patience under wrongdoing, the delaying of what is right. I deserve to be treated much better at work. But I am not called to happiness, I am called to holiness. It's not that the two never meet, but that sometimes the latter is realized in the absence of the former.

I do believe! Lord, help my unbelief!